It requires that you love so completely, so fiercely,
with every ounce of your heart and soul.
That kind of intensity makes motherhood seem complicated.
But it isn't.
It's a simple surrender,
a surrender that isn't even a choice, not really,
not once that test reads positive
or those eyes meet yours for the first time,
or when you wake in the middle of night just to be sure, to be certain, to know,
or when you realize that your child's home is in your arms,
and your home is wherever that child is.
Surrendering yourself to worry,
to fear, to the unknown, to the things that cannot be planned
or organized or foreseen or helped or changed --
that feels complicated, too,
and while there is no antidote for this kind of fear,
sometimes that fear can be a catalyst for an even stronger love.
We hold on tighter.
And in moments when I feel so overwhelmed by the fear
that all of this love
all of this goodness
all of this,
my daughter, my everything,
could just slip away
I know that I am at my most motherly.
In my weakest moments,
I am the strongest mother I can be.
“Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”- Elizabeth Stone