Tuesday, May 1, 2012

So Much Left to Say

Tonight I learned that my grandmother has cancer.
She is ninety-two and believes that "when it is your time, it is your time."
Thus, she is refusing any treatment.

After receiving the news from my mom shortly after arriving home from work, I called my grandma, but upon hearing her voice, I just couldn't talk about it.

"How are you?" I asked.
"We're eating dinner," she said.
"Oh, sorry!  What are you eating?"
She laughed. "Corned beef stew."
"Is it good?"
"Yes. Good. You want to come over for dinner?"
"We ate already."
"How's Rob?" she asked.
"He's at school."
"School?"
"He's getting his degree soon."
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I'm so proud of him!"
And she meant it.  She said it so earnestly, and I started to cry.
"He's going far, and so is Zoe.  You, too -- you went all the way."
"I'm so proud of all of you, and I love you all very much."

We made it through the rest of the phone call without talking about her health.  Or maybe we did.  She asked about my other grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, and I explained that she is coping.  Many of her stories are about being young.

"That's good for her," my grandmother said. "Better that way. When we get old, it gets so hard, so sad."

"I love you, Grandma," I said in reply.  It was the only thing to say.

 
When I made this layout two days ago, I didn't know she was sick.  Would that have changed anything?

Now I realize that there is so much left to say.

9 comments:

  1. And clearly so much you don't have to say, because she already knows it and loves you for everything. Bless your tender heart. Find peace for her and yourself.

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  2. I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking. I have been so lucky to not have anyone in my family directly affected by cancer, but I know that things can change so quickly. Sending prayers and good thoughts.

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  3. Hugs and prayers for you and your grandma Jill.

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  4. your layout is lovely as well as your thoughts. Hugs and prayers to you and your family!!!

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  5. My nan passed away almost a year ago and it still breaks my heart. THoughts and paryers for you and your Nan.

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  6. Ваша бабушка выглядит очень хорошо. 92- это круто(здорово) Дай Бог ей здоровья.Сочувствую Вашим переживаниям.

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  7. Hey Jill. I totally understand. I am so sorry. Prayers for you and your grandmother (well both of them).

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  8. Hi Jill - so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. She sounds like an amazing woman who is facing this with grace and courage. Prayers for her, you and your family.

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  9. Oh, Jill. I'm so sorry to hear this!
    Thinking of you and sending hugs from WI.

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