Sunday, May 12, 2013

We Think Back Through Our Mothers

"We think back through our mothers if we are women." 
                                                                                          -- Virginia Woolf

The morning began like any other morning, with me being the first awake, attending to my usual break-of-dawn task of tending to the furkids. After the requisite food, water, and belly rubs, there was much tail-wagging and contented purring to be had all around. 

Then it was time to check email, as usual, but as I headed toward my desk, I saw that my actual kid had left a wonderful surprise -- a cherry blossom fragrance gift set from the Body Shop. Someone knows her mom well.  

When the kid finally woke up a few hours later, she treated me to lunch at one of our favorite spots, Cholo's, on the North Shore. It was a little crowded, but as long as the salsa kept coming (and it did), it was all good. 
A little later we headed across the island to spend the afternoon with my mom. The drive there was rainy, with little visibility at times, but crossing over the Ko'olau range was worth it, as the mountains were streaming with waterfalls. 
Mazie tagged along with us, and the furkids had a playdate. 
It was wonderful to be able to spend the day with my mother and my daughter (and my furdaughter, who inherited the Sprott ears, as you can see above), but there was also a palpable absence. 

This year is the first year that we will not spend Mother's Day with my grandmother. She passed away several weeks ago, and her funeral is next week. I've been asked to prepare the eulogy, which feels like an honor, but it is also overwhelming, because I want to do right by her. 

My mom and I went through her entire life today, looking back at all that she had experienced in her 93 years of life. I am amazed at how much love she bequeathed to the world that she inhabited, and I take seriously her wish for all of us to be good to one another. She truly believed that those who were lost could be found; she saw the good in everyone, and challenged us to see it as well.  Forgive and forgive and forgive -- that is one of the most important lessons she imparted to us. 

I know she was not there with us this year for Mother's Day, but I feel as if we spent it with her all the same. 


  1. Thank you for this post--the tribute to your grandmother and her words of wisdom and how she lived her life so reminded me of my late mother. And I really needed to hear those words today, because I've been struggling with seeing the good in someone and learning to forgive them time and again for hurting me. You've reaffirmed that the best way for me to honor my mom's memory is to do just that, to be the woman she raised me to be. Thank you so much, Jill, for sharing this and being the vessel of truth. Bountiful blessings to you and your family as you celebrate your grandmother's life.

  2. You really have such a beautiful way with words