I haven't made a real Christmas wish list of my own since I was a kid. Nope -- the lists that I make around the holidays all involve "to do" items or "to buy" items.
My husband doesn't have a wish list either. Every year, around mid-December, he and I have the same conversation. A few days ago, it went like this:
Husband: What do you want for Christmas?
Wife: Ha. Nothing. What about you?
Husband: Nothing. I'm good.
Wife: I have to get you something.
Husband: No. You're the one who needs something.
Wife: Fine. Let's agree not to get each other anything.
Wife: Don't do what you did last year. Seriously -- we are not getting each other gifts.
Husband: Okay, no gifts.
And then a few days pass -- as they just did -- before he says something like this:
Husband: You're going to be mad at me.
Wife: What? Why?
Husband: I bought you a present.
Wife: Hey! We said --
Husband: I know, I know, but it doesn't count. It's just something small.
Wife: No fair! You know I have to get you something now.
Husband: No, no, really, it doesn't even count.
Wife: (Mutters something that puts her on the naughty list, although apparently even while on that list, she is still managing to have a present coming her way.)
Will I never learn?
Okay, I was going to get him something anyway, but still -- it's the principle of the thing.
Seriously, though, my Christmas wish list is nonexistent. The only kinds of wishes I make are those written on the heart, those that seem or really are unattainable. This is the kind of wish that I shared on
my latest Scrap Your Stash video, which is now up at Two Peas in a Bucket.
She loved the holidays, and even as she got on in age, and even as our family itself changed as result of distance, death, and divorce, we tried our best to continue the traditions that she loved. Christmas was that one time of year we all seemed to find our way back to each other -- my grandma had a way of calling us home -- but this year, without my grandmother there at the heart of the family, it just feels…different.
I still love Christmas, but I wish…I wish I could experience it with her once more.