Friday, May 22, 2015

Holding On

The school year is at a close. The campus is empty. My grades are done. My classroom is as clean as it's going to get.  I've been going and going and going and am, to be honest, exhausted and somewhat disoriented, now that my daily routine is about to change for the summer. This has been the fastest school year on record. Today I came up for air, just for a moment, only to realize that in less than 24 hours, my daughter is going to be a high school graduate.

And though I know that I have been here all along, I feel as if I missed so much of it, because when I look back, the edges of memory blur and days blend into each other.  I want to hold on to it all, but I can't. Though it's melodramatic, I'm reminded of Poe's "A Dream Within a Dream" -- 
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand —
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep — while I weep!
O God! Can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
I told you it was melodramatic. :) 

I'm so very honored to have had the gift of time with my daughter, regardless of the pace at which
it ticked by or flew. Each moment, no matter how vivid or indistinct, has been a blessing. 

Thank goodness for scrapbooking, which has helped me to document the moments that matter, even
before I realize just how much they matter. 
Tomorrow, I'll watch her graduate, and for as long as I'm blessed with a front row seat in her life, I'm 
going to enjoy the view. 

2 comments:

  1. this post makes me happy and sad. congrats to z for graduating!!

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  2. All those kids love you. Year after year you are there for them. No wonder your lovely daughter has turned out so beautifully inside and out! Enjoy tomorrow and scrap it for us!

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