Wednesday, November 22, 2017

I'm Trying Here.

Live your life.

This is the advice that my doctor gave me yesterday. It sounds overly simplistic and perhaps even trite, but it was revelatory to me when she said it. Maybe it was the way she said it, warmly but earnestly, like a directive, but also a wish.

I'm not a hypochondriac, but I do experience a fair level of anxiety when it comes to any health issue that doesn't seem "normal" to me. At appointments to inquire about these issues or to undergo tests or procedures, my blood pressure and heart rate tend to spike, as my fears take hold of me and my mind runs wild, imagining the worst.

One such episode -- and my determination to push past that fear -- is the focus of one of my most recent layouts.
This page is featured today on the Get It Scrapped blog, which includes projects that use a black and white + pastel color scheme. The pinkish-purplish pastel background channels a hospital vibe, don't you think?
I was a nervous wreck before my surgery, but I wanted it, and I knew that I needed it in order to breathe more easily and to break the streak of back-to-back sinus infections that I had been having. Today, I have no regrets. I don't even regret being afraid, as it forced me to learn everything I could about the procedure and the recovery period, and it also taught me through experience.

Am I a less anxious person now? Kind of. Maybe. Not really. It depends.

My doctor is right, though. While I await yet another test result, I can obsess about what may or may not be revealed and what that means for my life...or I can invest my time in living.

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